Almost California

Well as most of you know Patrick and I were planning on leaving tomorrow morning and fly out to California to see my cousin Josh which was his best friend. We were to board Delta in the morning at Indy at 6:00 a.m. It was going to be a weekend trip to relax and get away. Patrick said that I need not worry so much about the agenda of the trip but just try to focus on relaxing and not having any plans. He as I now know had big plans in store for me. He purchased my engagement ring only two days before his wreck. He told the girl from Zales that he planned to give it to me on the beach in San Diego. We had talked about how he would propose and getting married daily. It was something that we both looked forward to. He often joked because on Super Bowl weekend I was in California with Josh and sent Fletch a text asking him to marry me. He laughed and said no. I always told him that I was going to repay the gesture and sometimes I think he worried that I would. Now I will never know how it would have went, but I do know that like our relationship it would have been perfect. Patrick never did something half way he always went way beyond normal expectations. If you have seen my ring you will understand. Our relationship was not normal. It was something that most people dream of. The other night Denise cleaned out his truck and found a card that I had given to Patrick in May. It broke my heart to see it and have it given back. I know that he took what was written with him and know that he knew how much I loved him. The card was titled I Thank God for You- My heart will never take for granted the miracle of our love. I wrote Patrick, Just wanted to get you a card to let you know how thankful I am that you are in my life. You have been a blessing and I thank God for you everyday! I can't imagine my life without you, and I hope I never have to. You are an amazing man. The kind of guy that most women look their whole life for. I'm glad that you are mine and I will never take you for granted. Our love is beyond seeing and hearing it - it is felt from within. We will prove them wrong- by livin our love song. I love you Baby- Tara Well now I am having to imagine life without him because I am living it. If you have lost someone you are close to then you know that your heart actually hurts... I have looked for answers and there is not a good one I can come up with for why God took Patrick. I know that one day in heaven all this heartache will disappear as soon as I see Patrick's smiling face. Right now I just keep remembering that adorable smile he gave me with the cock of his head and smirk when he said I love you baby and put down his visor on his helmet. He was so happy! I guess that should give us some type of piece of mind that when he left this world he knew he was so loved and he was so happy. The rest of us are just left behind to deal with this because we don't have a choice... We do have each other and some great memories and hope faith and belief that we will all be together someday... Talk to you all soon. Probably alot this weekend. Please pray for peace. Love and God Bless...
Tara
P.S. There is good news my friend Amy Hasler Gilbert and her husband Mike are now the proud parents of an angel named Aubrey. She came 7 weeks early and was delivered in Evansville. She is small but doing well. Please keep them in your prayers. Amy does not like to sit still.
Leighton is home and doing well. I heard that Lacy is not feeling well now. So please pray for her. She herself is an angel..
Hope I got all the information straight because I am a little crazy right now. LOL But the moral of the story is God is great and prayer is strength...
Love you all...