Tuesday, October 21, 2008

THE LORD HAS BLESSED US WITH PATRICK

Well another week has come and gone and I'm still here hanging on to everything I can. I have spent many hours on this computer just reading my blog over and over. It seems like now it was just a dream. It was a fairytale! Prince Charming is not here anymore he is sitting in heaven waiting for us to join him. The one thing that has been really weighing on my heart is how I have put all my faith and love in Patrick. I look back and think that instead of praising Patrick I should have been praising God for Patrick. The love that I have in my heart I know is the same love that God has for me. Sometimes in life we spend so much time loving our precious gifts instead of loving our Heavenly Father who has given these gifts to us. What hurts is that they are not for us to keep. They are given to us for a reason that we do not know but hopefully it brings us closer to God. I have looked so hard for happiness and peace, the kind that Patrick brought into my life, but I now know that it was God's way of saying that he can give me that love and peace but I must first rely on him to do it. He is the constant in my life. I have had many ups and downs and lots of joy and sadness and through it all God has been with me. I am dealing with the fact that when my world comes tumbling down I call upon him for help, but when life is going smoothly I just go through the motions. I know that Patrick is at peace now and happier than he ever could be on this earth but my sadness along with our families is still real. I know that neither Patrick or God wants us to hurt like this, so I continue to pray and ask for God's peace in all of our hearts. Through Patrick, God showed me what real love is. What it means to be unselfish, understanding, compassionate, loving, and easy going. Love does not hurt. He taught my children about patience, love, respect, and forgiveness. He taught all of us about family, and what it meant to be part of his family. He has brought so many people together and I want to praise the Lord for that blessing. I want to thank God for the short time he blessed all of us with Patrick and the many blessing that his short life gave all of us. We have to now take these blessings and carry them on throughout our lives no matter how short or long that may be and proclaim to everyone how wonderful our Heavenly Father is.

7 comments:

Desiree' Knepp said...

I agree 100%! I have been thinking about things myself with loving our precious gifts without thanking him up above for it...just this past week I have been sitting down with my bible and in just this week I have noticed so many blessings! Its unbelievable!

Christy said...

Wow! What an amazing post. I am blessed by through your hurt that you know that God is God no matter what. Keep the faith =)God is faithful!

Lauren said...

Such a good post.

I love you, my sister.

Bobbi Sue said...

God is GOOD, All the Time! Let us never forget to be Thankful for what He has blessed us with if even for a short while. Love ya Sis

Jamie said...

Tara - I love your post. I have always struggled with the question of why God takes something away from us that we love so much and someone reminded me that we should be thankful that God every gave it/them to us in the first place. Still praying for you.

Laura Raber said...

Very well put Tara! Keeping these journals does allows to look back and learn something from ourselves. Keep that faith in your heart and continue sharing it! Laura

Kayna Clidienst said...

Tara,
I know that you have no idea who I am but I work with your cousin Kelli Salmon at Crane. I have been reading your blog ever since I found out about it, I truly am not a stalker I am just so touched at the love that you and Fletch had for each other and your children. You guys have the love that most people only dream of.
I was reading last night a Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul book that I bought a few years ago and I read this passage that I knew was something I needed to share with you."In the Bible it says everyone is put on this each for a purpose, and once they accomplished this you can return to Jesus. I did not know at first what you did so soon to come home to God. But I thought about it --you have done everything. You have been the best husband, father, son, and soldier in the world. And everyone knows this."
I read this last night and I couldn't quit thinking about you and your beautiful children. I truly feel that the purpose of Fletch's life was to show you and your children the love that each one of you have deserved your entire lives. He showed you what it was like to be a happy, loving family. Fletch's life was short but it taught and showed you and your children what a real family was like. I hope that this passage means as much to you as it does to me.

Perfect Love