12 LONG WEEKS

Well twelve weeks ago, was when all the hope that we had was crushed by a doctors very harsh words... I look back and have problems remembering what I said to Patrick on that day or who all I talked to. I remember not wanting to leave his room, in fear of knowing that my time with Patrick's physical self was short. I wanted to be there for every second and hold his hand for every moment I could. I remember asking him how I was going to tell the kids that he was not coming home. I remember playing our song and laying there with my head on his chest thinking please baby just come back and begging God for a miracle. I knew deep down that God had already gave me my miracle and that Fletch had already fulfilled God's plan for him. All I kept hearing God say was, "Good job my son!". I knew as Megan reminded me shortly after the wreck was that Patrick was in a better place. He is free and happy. That is comforting but in my selfish thoughts I wanted him here so bad. I felt that we were being cheated out of the wonderful life that we were planning together. It was hard for me to understand why God took someone so positive but leaves so much bad in the world. I still like the rest of his family have good days and bad days but the thing that is consistent is that his memory will forever live within us. We love to sit and talk about him and remember all of the funny things he said and did. It seems like he has not been gone very long to some but to me I feel like he has been gone forever. I know that right now he is with my sister taking care of her and comforting her while she is sick. It is hard not to be selfish in this situation because you have lost someone so important that you almost become numb to the world. I have to go to Tyra, Brooke, and Megan's Games tonight. Well basketball season is here. Brooke plays on the JV at Loogootee. Megan plays on the Varsity at Barr-Reeve, and Tyra cheers for the 6th grade boys and girls. Will is playing 8th grade and Jayce is playing 6th grade. I would bet that it is going to be a very interesting and busy season. I hate that Patrick is not here to enjoy the games but I do not he has one of the best seats in the gym. Please continue to pray for my sister and her family... It is a tough time, and only prayer will help...
Thanks and God Bless,
Tara