Monday, September 15, 2008


1 CORINTHIANS 13 Love is the Greatest
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love.
I truly do not even know where to begin this blog. 1 Corinthians 13 is the best way that I can explain Patrick and my's relationship. It is and forever will be the kind of love that was pure and true. Looking back at 1 Corinthians 13 I before felt that it was outdated and not meant for people now a days. This is only how I felt before I met Patrick. Seven months ago I met the love of my life. The man that I could spend a hundred years with and each day would be as special as the first. Our relationship was not like others. We had so much in common. We loved our family, our Catholic faith, and the only thing we wanted out of life was love. We enjoyed being around our friends, and just by being around us they knew right away that our love was the real thing. It wasn't long into our relationship that we started talking about marriage and our wonderful life ahead. We never took one single day for granted and lived our life with the motto of NO Regrets!!! Fletch was my best friend and Patrick was the man I was in love with and forever will be... He taught me so much about life and how great it could be. He constantly reminded me that our past was important because it lead us to each other. We knew that we would be married on the beach in Hawaii and were so excited that we could hardly wait. I have to mention one of the most important parts of Patrick's life was his four angels. Tyra, Tanner, Trey, and Tia was the center of our life. We discussed having more children together but he was worried about my heart and assured me that loving these four children as his own was the only thing that mattered. He always said that I would be his baby. Patrick jumped in with both feet to the role of being a husband and father. He did not care what others said; he followed only his heart. He knew what he wanted and that was what he focused on. He spent his mornings coming home from work, taking a shower, and heading to his soon to be family. He fixed our breakfast and then woke us up. He took the kids to school, and of course Tia to pre-school or daycare. The first day of daycare, Tia had tears in her eyes and so did Patrick. He did not want to leave his princess. He slept for a few hours and anxiously picked her up. After school, he would eat and spend time helping with homework and talking about the day with all of us. Around 5:30 he would head back to Montgomery to get his food and go to work. He looked forward to days off when we could spend more time together. Everyday from 11:15-12:15, I would come from work and spend lunch with him. We were just like a family, but the one thing he would say is that he was so tired of dating. He wanted to give me his last name. On September 9th, he slept, went and got Megan's car, spent lunch with me and headed to Bloomington to take Tanner's two left feet shoes back to Footlocker. I was a little suspicious of why he went when he would have the weekend off and we could all go. I dismissed it though but in the back of my mind I knew he was going to look at the ring we picked out on the Internet. We were planning to leave Oct. 3-5 to San Diego, CA to see Josh and have a little alone time. He wanted to see the sun set in the West. He picked up Tia at 3:30spent two hours with us and headed off to work. Wednesday, September 10th was what I would say was a pretty usual morning. He did the same routine, I headed to work, and met him back at the house for lunch from 11:15-12:15 and back at around 3:30. We took Trey to get his shots in Shoals, and spent an hour by the pool watching the kids swim. When it was time to go, he always told the kids he loved them and to be good for me. He also said to go to bed early because he did not want to fight them to get up in the morning. This day was different though. He told them to come give him a hug. Tanner said he did not want to get him wet and to be careful. Patrick said he did not care to get wet and that he would be careful. Tyra jumped out of the pool and jumped into Patrick's arms soaking wet and wrapped her legs around him. They kissed and told each other they loved each other and as usual I walked him to the front of the house. Today he took my Cardinals hat off and grabbed his helmet inside. He told me that even though the day was stressful to take a deep breath and remember that he love me. We talked for about five or ten minutes holding each other and reminding one another how much we love each other. Trey hugged, kissed, and told him he loved him and vice versa. He also wanted Patrick to do a big wheelie and reminded him that he was good at school and that we were going to take him to get a new bike on Friday. Patrick said that he could not do the wheelie because he did not want to stress me anymore than I did. He told Trey how proud he was for getting his shots and that he could not wait to get him his bike. Trey said remember when I got my shot and you held me the lady asked if you were my dad. You are going to be my step dad right? Patrick asked do you want me to be and Trey said yes and hugged him. Patrick continue to hug and kiss me. He put his helmet on, got on his bike, and I kissed his helmet. He flipped up the visor and said you will be my wife. I said I know and that I love him. He said I love you too Baby and put his visor down. He then pulled out of the drive; not doing a wheelie. Trey watched him go down the road and then we both went in. I grabbed my phone and called my sister Bobbi. I then heard sirens. I had a sick feeling when Tyra and Tanner ran in and said that Fletch had wrecked. I did not want to believe it, but my heart hurt. I after calling him and getting his voicemail, I got in the vehicle following more cops and volunteer firefighters down Butcher Blvd. The road was blocked and I saw there was a wreck. A lady said it was a motorcycle and at that point I began to run up to the scene and was held back by many. At that point, my heart broke. I knew in my heart that it was not good, but as I told him many times I would never give up or leave him. The rest of the story is long and at this point my heart is too broken to blog about it. On September 10th my heart broke and on September 11th my heart died. I am so confused about how God gave me a miracle and then took him away. He was amazing. Anyone who knew him could not deny that. Right now I still feel that the kids and I are in denial. My only objective now is to follow through with what he would want. I am so thankful for his family and mine. They have been so supportive and full of unconditional love. Tomorrow is the viewing and like him I have tried to iron out every detail to make him and this day perfect like he would want. I know that it will be the single hardest moment of my life, but with God and our families I know all will be well. He is looking down on us now and watching over us until we meet again. He said he would always love and protect me and our family. I did not vision it like this, but just as in 1 Corinthians 13 the vision will be clear one day. I know that even though we are apart, he will continue to love and protect us. Well, that is all for now. Please keep us in your prayers. I will write more about Patrick and my dreams later. Thanks and God Bless...


Sheena said...

Patrick you will me missed so much! You were a wonderful person, and Evans Best Friend! There wont be one day go by that you are not remembered. RIP

Anonymous said...

Tara you and youre family are in my prayers. You are a special person and i know God will help you get by day by day. My heart goes out to you. Your blog was very touching.

Lauren said...


This song was really encouraging to me when my mom passed away.

I would sit on the floor and cry out to Jesus while listening to it. It comes from Micah 7:7-8.

Check it out when you need some encouragement.

Praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding as this tragedy doesn't make sense. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but God does love you so much. I needed that reminder, and I think others do too.


Ashley said...

I am thinking about you and your children during all of this. This blog really touched me.

Bobbi Sue said...

You will forever be my "Young Gun" and my hope that True Love wins out in the end! I miss you Patrick(Fletchers)and can't wait to the day we are all reunited where there will forever be no sadness

Perfect Love