tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65646559943514373762024-02-06T23:05:57.788-05:00Delaney's DreamDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-67487702945870213972010-09-08T22:10:00.002-04:002010-09-08T22:52:42.279-04:002 YearsIn less than two days, it has been two years since I last spoke to my best friend and the love of my life. It amazes me that I can not even remember what I ate for lunch today, but I remember that day so clearly. It is almost frozen in time. I know that God had this planned for us long before we even knew each other, and I am so glad that he did. Patrick always said that if the bad things did not happen in our lives we would not have ended up together. I believe with my whole heart that God's plan was fulfilled through Patrick and I. I spend so much time trying to figure out what it was and my guess is that I never will. I now want to only focus on the good that Patrick brought to my life and let go of the rest. He is gone and even though some days it sucks so bad I want to scream as loud as I can, it will not do any good. The only thing that I can do now is focus on my future and pray that when my time comes that God will say, "Well done my Child." I want to see Patrick's smiling face when I wake up in eternity. I want to sit and laugh and talk forever. I wonder if I will tell him that he has told me that story a 1000 times. LOL I have lived with such hurt for not being his wife. Dealing with the fact that we had so many hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled. He bought my ring, two years ago today. I don't even want to get into how much that hurts... Really does those things even matter? When I leave this earth I am not taking my last name, my wedding ring, my house, etc... The only thing I am taking is myself. Who I am inside this shell:) I will finally be free to be the person I am and have always been but only few truly know. Do we really look inside to see the person staring back at us? I am guilty as most. Do we know what the person right in front of us, is going through? I hope that when you read this you see that time is going by whether we like it or not. We all need to do a self check and see if we are really living a life God would be happy about. Are we serving him or ourselves? Patrick would want me to live life to the fullest. To never be afraid and to keep on pushing through. Patrick was simple and amazing. He was the best friend to everyone and stranger to no one. Two years have passed and his memory lives on forever through all of us that loved him. As Tia says" Mom we don't have to invite Fletch to my birthday he is always here." He even can walk through walls. LOL So as you remember Fletch (Patrick) this weekend or everyday smile because that is what he would want:)Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-35692230520874341552009-05-12T15:26:00.002-04:002009-05-12T15:49:04.851-04:00Not a Day Goes ByIt's now May and as you can imagine there is not a day that goes by that I don't reflect back on my life with Patrick. I just got finished watching the video Megan posted on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">facebook</span> of Tia's 5<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> Birthday and her first day of Preschool. As the tears ran down my face, Tanner looked at me and said if it makes you sad Mom why do you keep watching it over and over again. I replied because I want to hear his voice. The kids as I played it just smiled saying do you hear Fletch mommy? They were so happy! I guess while they are so happy at what blessing he was in our life, I being so very selfish am sad because I feel like me, the kids, Megan, Denise, Mike, etc... have all been cheated out of so much. It is selfish of me, knowing as a mother that our children are not ours they belong to God. This life is not forever, heaven is... Trust me I believe that but it is doesn't always make it easier. I don't know if you have seen Patrick's stone at the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cemetery</span> but on it, it says a Measure of a man's life is what he leaves behind. Well you can't measure Patrick's because what he left behind is unmeasurable and that is unconditional love. He took a very broken woman and her four children and gave them happiness that they did not think they would find again. In return, I guess we gave him a family. Life moves forward everyday, but the Memory of Patrick will live on forever through us. This month Megan will graduate from Barr-Reeve and head to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">USI</span> next year. I know how proud he was of her and the woman that she was growing up to be. He never would have let her know, unless it was a special occasion, but he relied on her as much as she did him. I know that he had big dreams for her and that he wanted her to be happy and live life as he did. Looking back again on the video, I think about how it was taken a week to the day before his wreck and how happy life was. I am glad I didn't know because I think it would have ruined the happiness we shared that week, that day, and the final minutes before God called upon him. As God rejoiced when his Son came home and he repaid him with the promises of eternal life, we sat here and mourned for our loved one. It hurts today as it did 8 months ago, but in the end when we are with him again this sorrow will diminished and we will rejoice with him and the Lord. I love you Patrick!Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-83299953784779412812009-02-06T20:25:00.003-05:002009-02-06T20:52:06.034-05:00FEBRUARYWell, it is the great month of February! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">YAY</span>. I guess. I remember a year ago, I went out to California over <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Super Bowl</span> weekend. I got to spend four wonderful nights with my awesome cousin Josh. It was a much needed weekend away and to my surprise it was life changing. I did not tell anyone that I was going not even Josh until 10 on Thursday night when I drove to Indy in a snow storm. I got to Cali the next morning really excite but nervous at the same time. I was a small town girl in a great big world. The first night out, Josh and I took a picture outside of a club and send it to Fletch saying guess where I am... He could not believe that I went. In the next text, I jokingly said, Will you marry me? He replied back NO! We laughed about that for the longest time. I did not know that when I came home, I would start dating the man of my dreams. Needless to say, I left <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">a lot</span> of things out in Cali and began <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">a lot</span> of new things at home. I don't know if Josh ever realized that this weekend with him was life-changing. When I came home, Josh ended up coming home too for a whole month. He was a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">recruiter</span> in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Bedford</span>. Fletch, Josh, and I spent many nights hanging out in Montgomery at the old house. We had so much fun, but I think the most memorable was the night Josh played guitar and Fletch sang. I do not know if they ever completed a whole song but I loved it. The boys basketball sectional was played at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Loogootee</span> on his birthday February 26<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Th</span> and I sent him birthday wished on his phone. He replied back very excited that I remembered. Anyone that knows me, knows that this alone is a miracle. We spent his birthday partying at the old house and I even tried to feed him moldy cake. He said that his mom had got him a cake and that he loved red velvet. I don't remember if that was a night with electricity, with the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">TV</span> on the counter, strobe lights , disco ball, or the Creed video on the big screen but I do remember hanging out with my two best friends Josh and Fletch. I still didn't know that I would fall in love with Fletch but I knew that I was now seeing him as more than a party boy. He was very responsible! <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Every time</span> everyone would leave, he would stay to make sure everything was put up and that everyone was where they were suppose to be. I remember his late night motorcycle ride and how it scared the heck out of me, but boy did he love that bike. It was his baby girl for the time being, but that was all about to change. So looking back on last February and looking forward to this one is somewhat the same. I am again lost, but have hope. I know that this year, he will not turn another year older. He will forever be Bobbi's Young Gun. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">LOL</span> It took a long time, for my family to get his true age out of me and now I am not worried or ashamed to say Fletch was and forever will be 22 years old. He was a man wiser than his years and the kind of person that most of us only wish to be. He took my hand not worrying what others thought, he took my heart not worrying about what could happen, and he took our lives and joined them into one family. February is the month of love and on Valentine's Day I want you all to know that I love each and everyone of you. This month not only symbolized love, Fletch's birthday, and our beginning it represents true love that never ends. The love that was unselfish, perfect, pure, and undying. My love for him has not died but continues to grow everyday. <br />Tomorrow is Megan's Homecoming game and I am so excited. I sometimes look at her and can see him. She will laugh and I can hear him. I know just like him, she will do great things with her life and have a positive impact on people's lives just like he did mine. She also has her final sectional tournament next week. They play W.C. on Tuesday and I wish her and her team a wonderful run during this tournament time.<br />Bobbi is home and I do not get to see her as much as I should, but her just being home is a miracle itself. She has came a long way and still has a long way ahead of her... So please continue to pray for her and her family.<br />Well I hope everyone has a very blessed February and I will try to write more soon!~<br />GOD BLESS<br />TARADelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-21693178578997475642009-01-28T13:22:00.003-05:002009-01-28T13:41:53.649-05:00SNOW SNOW and MORE SNOWWell today is the second snow day for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Loogootee</span> and my kids are about to go crazy... They are so active and like myself want to get out in the snow and make a mess... I miss those days of living in Montgomery and sledding and doing all those fun winter things. It is so sad that Fletch and I never got to experience winter and sledding together. I know that we would have had a blast because we were both always up for anything. This week is going to be crazy anyways. Megan has Senior Night tomorrow night and is a Homecoming Queen Candidate on Friday. I am wondering if we will even be back in school by then. Megan's dress is gorgeous and I am so excited to see her. She is already a queen in my eyes and in her brothers. Heck she would look good in anything. The dress will not make her but she will make the dress. Have I told you how much I love her? She is an amazing girl. Have I told you that I am extremely bored... HA I am thinking about driving to see my oldest daughter Adara's house and play the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Wii</span>. She has four weeks till baby <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Aryah</span> will be here. Patrick would be so proud to see Adara as a momma. I know she thinks this pregnancy will never end but it will be over before she knows it and then the fun begins.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">LOL</span> My sister Bobbi is home and doing better everyday. She looks so good and I am so proud of her! My life is pretty much the same. I can't wait to get out of this house and move on with my life, but I just have not figured out what direction I need to go. The four kids are doing great. Trey has been having <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">alot</span> of melt downs lately crying for Fletch and missing his dad. He even made the comment that Fletch was his only friend and the only person who truly loved him. So I am trying to give him more attention and have talks daily with him. I am so lonely and hate not having someone to share things with but I am sure that I will fine. I know that I will never find another Fletch and I am <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ok</span> with that too. Well I hope that everyone is having a great snow day... Keep warm.<br />Love ya, TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-16909333673503194732009-01-11T15:32:00.005-05:002009-01-11T16:24:57.354-05:00A NEW YEAR!!!Hello 2009~ I spent New Year's Eve with Megan and the kids and sadly I must admit we were fast asleep by 12:30. The one thing that I did realize was that I spent the last day of 2008 and the first day of 2009 with the people who truly care about me and love me. New Year's has always been a night to celebrate with your friends. With Patrick gone, I truly felt all alone. I know that I was not alone, but it is just not the same when you don't have anyone to celebrate life with. My friends all have their own families and own life and it is not that they don't care but you reach a certain point in your life where you have other obligations. It is hard to do things with people when they have no idea of what you are going through and without knowing it they break your heart. I sit and look at my sisters and their families and it makes me sad. That is what I have wanted my whole life is a family. I don't want money or anything that money can buy. I want the thing that no amount of money can buy. I don't mind having a life of chaos but it is just so sad when you have nobody to share the moments with. The kids will still do something silly and I will pick up the phone to call Patrick. Every once in awhile I will leave him a voicemail just because I feel like I am talking to him. I wonder at times, if he sees us. If he is watching us from heaven. I know that when I am sitting alone and the tears roll down my face that I don't think God would let him see me hurt that way. If he was watching, it would break his heart not to be with us. Each day he is gone, it is more evident of what a wonderful man he was. He was so selfless and pure. He did not give into to the world he followed his heart. He was a true Christian. He did not have to talk the talk because he walked the walk. My goal is to be more like him, to give each day and love each day and to live life to the fullest. It was sad to see a year gone and a new year start without him. I do know that 2008 even with all of the heartache was an awesome year. I met and fell in love with the most amazing man. The kind of guy who you only dream of. He made my life and everyone in his life a better place. I just wish that God would somehow fill the void left in my life and in my heart. Don't get me wrong, I truly enjoyed my New Year time with Megan and the kids. It was just heartbreaking knowing that again my dreams had been crushed. I have so much to look forward to and have been blessed by God in so many ways but I just don't know what direction I need to go in. I am overwhelmed by trying to figure out what I need to do with my life. Obviously, life has in no way turned out like I had planned, and trying to figure out God's plan for me is stressful at times. I pray daily and ask him for his guidance in every decision that I make, but I am not a very patient person. I don't know how I would make it without the angels that God has sent me during this difficult time. Denise and Megan make sure each day that I am up and moving and continually remind me of Patrick and our love for one another. Ryan is the angel that I can talk to about anything. His faith, love, and understanding has been a huge blessing. My four kids, are the reason that I wake up every morning and praise the Lord for his blessing. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Dez</span>, Rachel, and Hawk drug me out of this house even when I did not want to get out of bed. Carlye will sit on the phone with me for hours even when I know she has a million things to do. My parents, sisters, and brother just put up with all of my crap. (which is very stressful) I will be forever thankful for all of these people that Patrick has brought into my life. I know that they were sent to me for a reason. So many people have given me advice about what I should do or what I have done wrong in the past but this time I am going to be like Patrick and follow my heart because your heart doesn't lie. I hope that everyone has a blessed New Year and that we follow the path that God intends for each one of us... I continue to give God all Glory, Honor, and Praise as I continue this journey here on Earth.<br />God Bless and I love all of you!Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-43869139324031620622008-12-26T21:32:00.004-05:002008-12-31T20:20:42.819-05:00CHRISTMAS FROM HEAVENWell everyone, we <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">survived</span> through our first Christmas without Patrick. Can I tell you that I had a pretty good one? Patrick sent me so many angels to help me get through this very sad time. I went to Indy and spent a day with Patrick's Hawkins family and had a really good time. Anytime I can take a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">road trip</span> with Megan, Denise, and Jack it is a fun time... On Christmas Eve, we attended mass at St. Peter's and it was absolutely beautiful. It was difficult for me because that is the church and mass that Todd and I took the children to each year, and it was another reminder that Patrick was celebrating Christmas with Jesus this year. I looked at Trey as he began to cry and it was all she wrote for me. Trey not only spent another Christmas without his dad but now had to deal with yet another loss. Trey is very sensitive and when he knows that my heart is broken it is very hard on him. I know it is on all of them but we all deal with it very differently. After church, we came back to my house and opened gifts and of course ate. The kids had <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">a lot</span> of fun and I had <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">a lot</span> of fun spoiling them. I love to spoil Megan too! This year was a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">weird</span> Christmas not having all of my sisters, brother, parents and all of our families in this very small house. Heck, the parish hall would be small for our gang. I think it was almost easier on me that way because we had all looked forward to having Patrick witness our Christmas Eve Bash... I know he would have loved it, but I also believe that he was watching over Bobbi and praying for her recovery... Christmas day, I took the kids to Montgomery and spent the day with Denise and the Hawkins family and Delaney family. Well do you know how sometimes your sadness is temporary well that is how my happiness is. I sometimes have a day where the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">emptiness</span> is bearable but then before you know it the void of your loss overwhelms you again. I am so jealous right now that God gets to talk to him and hold him. I am so hurt that he is not here with me. I know that he is having the most perfect Christmas ever but it still does not take the hurt away. This Christmas I gained a little sister and a great Mother in law. I have a wonderful family, four healthy children, and angel in heaven waiting on me... I hope that everyone had a blessed Christmas and that no matter how different your Christmas was be thankful that you had one...<br />On a good note Bobbi Sue gets stronger each day! Keep praying for her and her family....Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-58650794640558781952008-12-17T17:47:00.003-05:002008-12-17T18:06:29.847-05:0098 DAYS!!!Hey everyone~ well it has been 98 long days since the day Patrick left my house on his motorcycle never to return home. I figured with the Christmas season quickly approaching it would do me some good to get online and blog some. It is hard to imagine him not being here for Christmas. We had talked so much about how we were going to decorate the tree and had decided it would probably be best if he would just leave and let me do it. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">LOL</span> He honestly didn't care as long as I only used clear lights. I was looking forward to having a family Christmas again and someone to share the wonderful holidays with. Instead this year, I have spent Christmas making sure that the grave blanket was put on and decorated and talking to Denise about things blowing off his grave. I go out to see him and it just makes me sick. It seems unfair that all of our dreams have been shattered by an accident. I feel like we were both cheated out of a great life full of happiness. I know that Patrick is now in heaven and has happiness beyond our imagination, but for those that were left behind it is a nightmare. The hole left in our hearts makes life sometimes unbearable. Sometimes I do not know how I would go on without my four wonderful children. It is always hectic but I truly enjoy every second of it. I look at them and think of how much they have lost throughout their short lives and how strong they are. They are truly an inspiration to me. Patrick would be so proud of his angels... Megan and Denise have been so wonderful to all of us throughout it all. They are and forever will be our family. On a good note, my sister was moved yesterday to a Rehabilitation Hospital to work on physical therapy and ween off of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">trach</span>. I know she is strong and with the continued prayers, I hope she is home really soon... Our family is not the same without her. So please God let her get well soon so she can straighten us all out.... Please continue to pray for all of us during a very difficult holiday season and remember to live your life with no regrets..<br />Thanks and I love all of you!<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-75668646785436839742008-12-04T16:13:00.002-05:002008-12-04T16:36:29.901-05:0012 LONG WEEKSWell twelve weeks ago, was when all the hope that we had was crushed by a doctors very harsh words... I look back and have problems remembering what I said to Patrick on that day or who all I talked to. I remember not wanting to leave his room, in fear of knowing that my time with Patrick's physical self was short. I wanted to be there for every second and hold his hand for every moment I could. I remember asking him how I was going to tell the kids that he was not coming home. I remember playing our song and laying there with my head on his chest thinking please baby just come back and begging God for a miracle. I knew deep down that God had already gave me my miracle and that Fletch had already fulfilled God's plan for him. All I kept hearing God say was, "Good job my son!". I knew as Megan reminded me shortly after the wreck was that Patrick was in a better place. He is free and happy. That is comforting but in my selfish thoughts I wanted him here so bad. I felt that we were being cheated out of the wonderful life that we were planning together. It was hard for me to understand why God took someone so positive but leaves so much bad in the world. I still like the rest of his family have good days and bad days but the thing that is consistent is that his memory will forever live within us. We love to sit and talk about him and remember all of the funny things he said and did. It seems like he has not been gone very long to some but to me I feel like he has been gone forever. I know that right now he is with my sister taking care of her and comforting her while she is sick. It is hard not to be selfish in this situation because you have lost someone so important that you almost become numb to the world. I have to go to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Tyra</span>, Brooke, and Megan's Games tonight. Well basketball season is here. Brooke plays on the JV at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Loogootee</span>. Megan plays on the Varsity at Barr-Reeve, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Tyra</span> cheers for the 6<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">th</span> grade boys and girls. Will is playing 8<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">th</span> grade and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Jayce</span> is playing 6<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">th</span> grade. I would bet that it is going to be a very interesting and busy season. I hate that Patrick is not here to enjoy the games but I do not he has one of the best seats in the gym. Please continue to pray for my sister and her family... It is a tough time, and only prayer will help...<br />Thanks and God Bless,<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-62994227150988319912008-12-04T11:34:00.003-05:002008-12-04T11:43:27.671-05:00Happy Birthday Bobbi Sue!Today is my big sister Bobbi's birthday and as most of you know she is still in ICU @ Carmel and is very weak... Please continue to pray that the Lord gives her the strength to get better. We are still doing a dance of two steps forward and one step back. She is again on the ventillator because she was struggling to breathe. I just wanted to make note of her birthday and how blessed we are to have another one to celebrate with her... Keep her and all those who are sick in your prayers because sometimes prayer is all we have.<br />Thanks and God Bless<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-20459897048334293572008-11-26T23:47:00.003-05:002008-11-27T00:03:53.843-05:00Bobbi SueWell I just read Nikki, Lacy, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ashlye's</span> blogs and if you do not know what is going on with my sister Bobbi just read their blogs for updates. Nikki just updated hers. We both read it trying to make sure that we didn't forget anyone, but with the emotional strain we are both under we are sure we have. It has been overwhelming and the lack of sleep has really caught up with us. We are so appreciative of Val and the hotel that she got for us so that we could get showers and rotate being with our sister. It has been a huge blessing for our mother because she needs rest. So many have sent food for our children and helped get them where they have needed to be. I need to thank Pat, Lacy, Helen, Trudy, and Hannah for helping out with my kids. Thanks to Megan and Denise for all of the support that you continue to give me and my family. I would truly not know what I would have done without you. Also, we need to thank all of you who have volunteered to watch our children. Your thoughtfulness means so much! It is one less worry knowing that our children are being so well taken care of. We both would like to thank Lacy for organizing meals for our families. She is an angel... Just like our sister Bobbi, Lacy is always thinking of everybody else. They are going to try again to take her off the vent tomorrow, but we do not know since she is running a fever again. Just pray that the Lord gives us all the strength to deal with whatever tomorrow brings. We will try to keep you updated when we can.<br />Thanks and God Bless- May you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-25707772939657065812008-11-18T20:39:00.002-05:002008-11-18T21:13:42.556-05:00TIMEHave I told you how much I love Patrick and how unfair it is that he is not here anymore... The other day I was thinking of how Patrick would be so disappointed in how weak I am right now. Someone said that if the role was switched how do you think he would be. I have thought about this alot since she said that. Patrick would not be able to handle this. It is a hard position to be in when you are married in your heart but not on paper. He loved these kids like they were his own and if that were to ever be taken from him he would have lost it. I remember awhile back when we were leaving the court house and I was upset because again I did not have any closure. He looked at me and said Tara it doesn't matter what a piece of paper says it matters what is in your heart.. and in my heart you are already my wife. I took Trey to the dentist today. This was the first time I took him. Patrick usually took the kids for me. He looked up from the chair and said mommy I miss Fletch. I said you don't have to miss him he is here in your heart. When I got home, I got on the computer and looked on Patrick's facebook. How it said he was in a relationship, where Megan and I changed his profile picture, and how I had poked him to say I LOVE YOU BABY!!! It was then when I realized that everything stopped on September 10th... His time just stopped. He won't ever log on again, or send a text again, and he is not coming back. WHY??? I am tired of the saying Life ain't fair... I'm tired of hearing it will get easier... I am tired of my heart being broken... I remember when Patrick and I first started dating every night we played a question game. Where he would text a question and I would answer it and so on. One of our favorite things to do was to go slug hunting after the kids went to bed. Boy did we use alot of salt... Now I am just babbling so I will stop. LOL<br />Please pray for Bobbi, she is doing better but has a long road ahead... Patrick is so proud of her... Be strong big sis.Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-9844904800680250152008-11-12T23:17:00.002-05:002008-11-12T23:53:34.757-05:009 WEEKSWell it has been nine weeks since Patrick pulled away from my house not knowing that was the last time he would wrap his arms around me and tell me that he loved me. How is that possible that in a matter of minutes someone can just be gone. I do not ever think that I will fully understand how life works or God's great plan, but I do know how blessed I was to have Patrick in my life. I miss him so much that I am just overwhelmed. I think more than anything I miss his laugh and voice. I call his voicemail when having a bad day just to hear him talk to me. I text him sometimes and just wait for the disappointment of the message being sent back a few weeks later to say message has failed. Sometimes I open my phone and see that I have a text from him and for a split second I am so happy but then realize his message has been sent back to me. I pull in the drive sometimes and see his truck and my heart melts. I go to bed at night and turn around to turn the hall light off and think for second that he is standing there but his isn't. I wake up in the morning and picture him leaning against the sink and having our morning talk before we wake up the kids. I just don't know how to live without him. I just feel like so much has been taken away. We had so many hopes and dreams... I knew that with him by my side their wasn't a mountain I couldn't climb. I received the most perfect gift and within a blink of the eye it was gone. It feels like forever since he has held me in his arms or woke me with a sweet kiss. I know that people deal with death and losing a loved on everyday and I am not the first or the last that has felt this <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">emptiness</span> inside. My only advise is to live with no regrets. Patrick and I did not have any. We loved everyday like it could be our last and the day he left me was the most perfect day ever. It was almost like we knew... I received peace at the hospital and peace at the funeral and I know that one day God will give me the peace I need to get over all of this hurt and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">emptiness</span> but right now I do not think my mind is ready. In a way, I don't want to stop hurting or crying because then it will seem as if I am over it and I will never be over it. I want to wake up in eternity by Patrick giving me the biggest hug ever and telling me that my Heavenly Father has been waiting. I want to hear Patrick singing God's praises and smiling like he has never smiled before. I hear so many people say that he is watching over us but I have a hard time understanding that when he would be so hurt to see me, the kids, and his family and not be here with us. I know there is not any hurt or pain in heaven so how can he see all of it that is here? I guess right now I just have a lot of questions... but please do not take that as doubts... Well I better get to bed so I can try to get all of us to where we need to be in the morning...<br />Oh ya I failed to mention that Megan did an awesome job at State. I'm so proud of those girls.. I attended the banquet the night before and I will just say one thing Patrick would have NEVER sat through that for any amount of money. HA Lacy is doing great... and I'm so happy about that. PLEASE pray for my sister Bobbi she is having surgery tomorrow and will need everyone to pray for her and her family for the next couple of weeks. She is always doing something for everyone else, I'm glad she is doing this for herself and for Patrick.. He can't wait to see the swimsuit...<br />I'm going to end this with a short prayer:<br />Dear Heavenly Father I would like to take this time to pray for everyone who is reading this blog that you Lord bless them with your loving spirit and touch their lives like only you can Lord. Put your loving arms around all of our families, friends, and all those Lord who need our prayers and keep them close to you. Allow us to live our lives as you want us to and bless and keep each one of us all the days of our lives. In Jesus name I pray and ask this. AMEN!Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-46766377613215422752008-11-03T18:32:00.002-05:002008-11-03T19:03:43.197-05:00Weekend FunWell everyone the girls did it... On Saturday, they proved Patrick's theory that this was Megan's year. Barr-Reeve is State Bound. I know they will do great. They are such a special group of girls and I love them dearly. Please continue to pray for these girls to do their best and for God to keep them healthy and strong. <br />This weekend was a lot of fun. Friday was very long with the kids Halloween parties and Trick or Treating. I went to a Halloween Party with my friend Desiree and had a blast. I remember standing there thinking wow Patrick would have loved this. I was surrounded by friends and the memories of him kept rushing through my head. I knew in my heart that he was glad that I was there and if he was still here he would have had a blast. I had a lot of fun but that night was very emotional because we had talked so much of the fun night we would have at the Hunt house taking the kids Trick or Treating. I hate knowing that we never had our first Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. I never got the name tag above my door that said Mrs. Delaney. I did not get to go to the Hawkins or Delaney family get-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">togethers</span>. Instead, I got to meet most of his family in the ER the day he died. How is that fair? Why does God make this part of his wonderful plan. I am sorry, I do not see anything wonderful about. All I see and feel is pain and loneliness. <br />Saturday of course, Megan and her team won a Regional title and set the best record in Barr-Reeve volleyball history. After that I stopped in to see <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Dez</span> and my two amigo friends at Red Bones Halloween party. I had fun getting to see mine and Patrick's friends. I was there only a couple of hours and went home to stay with my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">lil</span> sis. Have you ever been with a bunch of people and it is like you are in a different world. I am starting to feel like I am surrounded by people but I am still alone. I know it sounds <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">weird</span>. I just feel so lost and empty. <br />Sunday, I spent most of the day crying. I believe I was just so exhausted that mind was weak. <br />Well today is Monday and there goes another weekend and here comes another week. Time goes on no matter how bad we want to go backwards or just not move. We do not have a choice.<br />Please keep in your prayers the Jim Miller family. My heart goes out to them and just breaks for them. We do not have any idea of what they are going through, but pray for them that the<br />lord will wrap his arms around them and give them peace through this sad time.<br />Thanks and God Bless<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-2155275510419567402008-10-28T21:08:00.003-04:002008-10-28T21:34:16.879-04:00GO MEGANWell this week my little sis won a Sectional championship. It was something that was always talked about by Patrick and I... He always said that this was the year they would go to State and after that he was ready to become a Loogootee Lion. You see with supporting a team it was not about the school, it was about the kids that made the school. We were supporting the people we love. I know that he was there and supporting Megan and is so very proud of her. I knew that it would have been his weekend off and that we would be there together as a family. Even though it would be stressful we loved doing things as a family. As I watched Megan play tears ran down my facing knowing that again he was not here phycially like I want him to be. I spent the time between games hanging out with Fletch. It makes me so sad but I always leave our talks with a sense of peace. I think it is because I know that he knows how bad my heart hurts and how no matter how strong I pretend to be the tears that I cry daily never stop. It is like I tell him all my problems like I have always done and he wraps his arms around me and lets me know that it will be ok and that he is here with me. What's funny is that during Megan's talk at the pep session it finally hit me. It doesn't take a Sectional title to make me proud of Megan. I am so proud of the person she is. She is one of the sweetest, strongest, smartest, etc.. young lady that I have ever met. She is amazing as Fletch would say. I just wish he would be sitting beside me cheering her on. Throughout all of this Megan and her volleyball family have been amazing to me and my children. They have put a smile on my face without even knowing that they did. These girls like all of the surrounding volleyball teams have put their heart and soul into the game they love and we love to watch. I am just truly glad that this was the year that Megan and her team won, and I know that Patrick is too. Well we are off to Regional. I pray that God is with these girls and allows them to play to the best of their abilities. I know if they do that than nobody will stop them. Well talk to you later.<br />Love TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-64421002189321749362008-10-21T11:33:00.002-04:002008-10-21T12:01:37.261-04:00THE LORD HAS BLESSED US WITH PATRICKWell another week has come and gone and I'm still here hanging on to everything I can. I have spent many hours on this computer just reading my blog over and over. It seems like now it was just a dream. It was a fairytale! Prince Charming is not here anymore he is sitting in heaven waiting for us to join him. The one thing that has been really weighing on my heart is how I have put all my faith and love in Patrick. I look back and think that instead of praising Patrick I should have been praising God for Patrick. The love that I have in my heart I know is the same love that God has for me. Sometimes in life we spend so much time loving our precious gifts instead of loving our Heavenly Father who has given these gifts to us. What hurts is that they are not for us to keep. They are given to us for a reason that we do not know but hopefully it brings us closer to God. I have looked so hard for happiness and peace, the kind that Patrick brought into my life, but I now know that it was God's way of saying that he can give me that love and peace but I must first rely on him to do it. He is the constant in my life. I have had many ups and downs and lots of joy and sadness and through it all God has been with me. I am dealing with the fact that when my world comes tumbling down I call upon him for help, but when life is going smoothly I just go through the motions. I know that Patrick is at peace now and happier than he ever could be on this earth but my sadness along with our families is still real. I know that neither Patrick or God wants us to hurt like this, so I continue to pray and ask for God's peace in all of our hearts. Through Patrick, God showed me what real love is. What it means to be unselfish, understanding, compassionate, loving, and easy going. Love does not hurt. He taught my children about patience, love, respect, and forgiveness. He taught all of us about family, and what it meant to be part of his family. He has brought so many people together and I want to praise the Lord for that blessing. I want to thank God for the short time he blessed all of us with Patrick and the many blessing that his short life gave all of us. We have to now take these blessings and carry them on throughout our lives no matter how short or long that may be and proclaim to everyone how wonderful our Heavenly Father is.Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-45794297346509554402008-10-12T10:03:00.002-04:002008-10-12T10:50:44.981-04:00One MonthWell everyone, it has been a month and now at this point it feels like a decade. I guess the hardest part is that there is not a moment that goes by that reality does not hit that he is not here <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">physically</span> anymore. With my grandma, at Thanksgiving I always think wow she's not here, but with Fletch there is not a second that goes by that I am not confronted with it. He was such a major part of my life. He was my morning, lunch, supper, and bedtime. I can't even pretend he is at work because he would text me or sometimes just call to hear my voice. (and I loved every second) I felt like for the longest time that I was stuck in September 10<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> and time was not at all moving forward, but now I feel as though it has been forever since I have held his hand. We had such a perfect love and I think that is what hurts so bad. For those of you who did not get to spend time with us, Patrick loved me so much!!! When I say this I am not being rude or arrogant, he just truly worshiped the ground I walked on. He looked at me everyday like I was his world. He would even say that everyday he fell in love with me all over again. I never thought that anyone could love me and that nobody would accept all of the baggage that comes with me, but he did. He wanted to carry the baggage for me and spent everyday making me feel so special. During the hospital stay, funeral, etc... I heard really fun stories about Fletch and the person he was but in my mind I just kept thinking of how unfair it was that most of them did not get to see first hand the man he had become. He was not the funny guy from High school that everyone loved to be around. He was so much more! He was a son, brother, husband, dad, son in law, brother in law, uncle... He became the kind of man at 22 that most men never become with their own family. Our family was the most important thing to us. He would always thank me for giving him this family and I would make some silly joke like see you should have ran. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">LOL</span> I have lost many people that I have loved but when you are as close as we were it feels as though your heart has been ripped out. I do have comfort with my faith but at times the emotions are so overwhelming. I have in the past months received so many signs from Fletch and I know he is still with me but he is not here the way I want him to be. I walk around and smile and put on my strong Tara face but inside I am so hurt. Some of you that have been following my blog will remember that I said that Fletch would always text at 12:00 am to tell me Happy Anniversary or Birthday etc... Well on the 9<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">th</span> I got a message from Josh around that time and believe me it was a sign from Fletch. I have so many of these stories and it scares some people but I love everyone of them. It is a daily reminder that he did not leave us and that he is still here. When we are united one day we will have a much better understanding. He told me he would love me forever and never let anyone hurt me again. I just did not know it would be from Heaven. Well I guess I wanted to write something in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">remembrance</span> of the one month anniversary of losing my best friend, and the love of my life. He made such a wonderful impact on my four children. Everyday I look at them and see some way that he changed their life and I smile. Do not get me wrong I also get mad thinking God if he did this in such a short time what would he have been able to do if you would have let him stay. I feel blessed to have been able to find the perfect love but when it is gone it leaves such a void. To not be able feel his hand on my face, see that adorable smile, or hear him sing just hurts. I loved to listen to him sing... Well people keep saying that it gets easier but for me it seems to be the opposite. I guess we will just keep on praying. This week is going to busy we have Senior night on Thursday.. Go Megan... BR plays the Hatchets. <br />Please keep Lacy in your prayers...<br />Asia and her glued finger is home. I had to go with her and Carlye to ER on the 10<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">th</span>. She thinks she can cut her own apple. Well guess what she probably will not do that again! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">LOL</span><br />I love you all and I am <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">finished</span> rambling... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Lol</span><br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-4153184772206525182008-10-08T18:44:00.002-04:002008-10-08T18:56:12.292-04:00TAGGED6 Random Facts<br /><br />1 The one thing that I look forward to in life is being a Grandma. I can not wait to rock them, watch them play, and love them and hopefully it will not be for a while but when it does I will be the best Grandma ever....<br />2. I am a romantic. I love to love... Believe me it hurts when you lose someone you love but I would rather love than never feel that wonderful feeling that love has.<br />3. I do not like chocolate. Not that I wont eat it but much rather have a nerds rope.<br />4. I have issues with wanting to save the world and finding the good in people who do not have a lot of it. That may sound like a good trait but it also consists of lots of stress, being used, and hurt. Patrick was definitely trying to get rid of that trait in me.<br />5. I love God, my children, family, and friends. I have been through some hard times but I have a huge support system and love them to death.<br />6. I am very laid back and this drives most crazy. I do not make decisions not even where I want to eat.<br /><br />Well I do not know who to Tag but if you read this you are officially tagged. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">LOL</span>Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-91570349171590400042008-10-07T18:58:00.003-04:002008-10-07T20:25:11.560-04:00The WeekendWell, you will be glad to hear that I had a pretty good weekend. It started with taking the day off on Friday because as you know I was planning to leave with Patrick for the weekend. I instead got the kids off to school, Tia and I went to St. John's to mass, and then I took Tia to preschool. I thought I would come back home and take a nap, but my mind would not let me. I headed to Washington to get my nails done and a famous pedicure. I painted my nails black because as most of you know I like them to be different. Without even asking, she put two hearts on my ring finger which made me smile. It took forever, and I can still see Fletch sitting in his truck waiting for me like he always did. He sometimes went to see Evan, or some friends from work, the motorcycle store, or even <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wal</span></span>-Mart to buy stuff on our list. I then, after two hours, grabbed the worst sandwich and headed to the nursing home Carlye works at to visit with her and the occupational therapy girls. We had a fun talk, and just being there was a little depressing, but it really makes you appreciate life. Carlye's truck had to be jumped because she left something on. Imagine that! I came home to a wonderful surprise... Leah Robinson made me a memory book with all of the pictures of Fletch and I. If you have not seen it, you should. It made my day and the kids loved it, so if Leah is reading this, thanks from the bottom of my heart. Lacy thanks for helping get her some of the pictures. You two are angels. On Saturday, I did the gymnastics and soccer thing and slowly worked my way to Hannah's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">bachelorette</span></span> party. We missed the massages which sucked, but we met them at Los Bravos and played some fun games. Needless to say, we then had a blast on the scavenger hunt, Mr. Sanders, and on the truck ride. It kept my mind on the good, not focusing on what I have lost, but what I have. I woke up Sunday very sick, but went to the movies with my sisters Bobbi and Nikki and my best friend Carlye and her two sister <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ashlye</span></span> and Lacy. They are all like my sisters and I love them so much! We went to Jasper to see <em>Night in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Rodanthe</span></span></em>. I know that is probably spelled wrong, but it was a great movie. Definitely a love story similar to mine and Fletch's. I think we could have made a better one. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">LOL</span></span> I am seriously thinking about writing a book, it would be about my life, but I know people would think it was fiction. We had a great time. I missed Megan and Denise and our Sunday trip to church, but I know they understand and Patrick really was smiling down that I had taken a bath and got out. It turned out to be a good weekend and today is Tuesday and so far so good. Thanks for all the prayers, I know they helped... Please continue to pray for all of those who have left this world. They are in a better place, I know, but it is still good to pray for them. Plus you will receive graces for doing it. Well I have to go, I have an 11 year old going on 21 throwing a 2 year old fit. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">LOL</span></span><br />Thanks for reading and God Bless,<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-60606443888113456282008-10-02T22:50:00.003-04:002008-10-03T11:08:23.866-04:00Almost CaliforniaWell as most of you know Patrick and I were planning on leaving tomorrow morning and fly out to California to see my cousin Josh which was his best friend. We were to board Delta in the morning at Indy at 6:00 a.m. It was going to be a weekend trip to relax and get away. Patrick said that I need not worry so much about the agenda of the trip but just try to focus on relaxing and not having any plans. He as I now know had big plans in store for me. He purchased my engagement ring only two days before his wreck. He told the girl from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Zales</span> that he planned to give it to me on the beach in San Diego. We had talked about how he would propose and getting married daily. It was something that we both looked forward to. He often joked because on Super Bowl weekend I was in California with Josh and sent Fletch a text asking him to marry me. He laughed and said no. I always told him that I was going to repay the gesture and sometimes I think he worried that I would. Now I will never know how it would have went, but I do know that like our relationship it would have been perfect. Patrick never did something half way he always went way beyond normal expectations. If you have seen my ring you will understand. Our relationship was not normal. It was something that most people dream of. The other night Denise cleaned out his truck and found a card that I had given to Patrick in May. It broke my heart to see it and have it given back. I know that he took what was written with him and know that he knew how much I loved him. The card was titled I Thank God for You- My heart will never take for granted the miracle of our love. I wrote Patrick, Just wanted to get you a card to let you know how thankful I am that you are in my life. You have been a blessing and I thank God for you everyday! I can't imagine my life without you, and I hope I never have to. You are an amazing man. The kind of guy that most women look their whole life <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">for.</span> I'm glad that you are mine and I will never take you for granted. Our love is beyond seeing and hearing it - it is felt from within. We will prove them wrong- by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">livin</span> our love song. I love you Baby- Tara Well now I am having to imagine life without him because I am living it. If you have lost someone you are close to then you know that your heart actually hurts... I have looked for answers and there is not a good one I can come up with for why God took Patrick. I know that one day in heaven all this heartache will <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">disappear</span> as soon as I see Patrick's smiling face. Right now I just keep remembering that adorable smile he gave me with the cock of his head and smirk when he said I love you baby and put down his visor on his helmet. He was so happy! I guess that should give us some type of piece of mind that when he left this world he knew he was so loved and he was so happy. The rest of us are just left behind to deal with this because we don't have a choice... We do have each other and some great memories and hope faith and belief that we will all be together someday... Talk to you all soon. Probably <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">alot</span> this weekend. Please pray for peace. Love and God Bless...<br />Tara<br />P.S. There is good news my friend Amy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Hasler</span> Gilbert and her husband Mike are now the proud parents of an angel named Aubrey. She came 7 weeks early and was delivered in Evansville. She is small but doing well. Please keep them in your prayers. Amy does not like to sit still.<br />Leighton is home and doing well. I heard that Lacy is not feeling well now. So please pray for her. She herself is an angel..<br />Hope I got all the information straight because I am a little crazy right now. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">LOL</span> But the moral of the story is God is great and prayer is strength...<br />Love you all...Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-52149845541307051542008-09-29T00:33:00.002-04:002008-09-30T20:00:31.841-04:00Patrick's Voicemail<p>I have not been able to figure out how to post Patrick's voicemail here, so I have added the link below. </p><p><a href="http://www.box.net/shared/o5j6m5j4kf">http://www.box.net/shared/o5j6m5j4kf</a></p><p>Also, I have added more songs to my playlist at the bottom. If you have time, check it out.</p><p> </p>Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-68481214537067099172008-09-29T00:30:00.001-04:002008-09-29T00:30:29.011-04:00The pictures retrieved from Patrick's phone.<div style="width:400px; text-align: center;"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://w456.photobucket.com/pbwidget.swf?pbwurl=http://w456.photobucket.com/albums/qq288/wagoner10/Fletch/2073b29a.pbw" height="300" width="400"><a href="http://photobucket.com/slideshows" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a><a href="http://s456.photobucket.com/albums/qq288/wagoner10/Fletch/?action=view¤t=2073b29a.pbw" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn_viewallimages.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a></div>Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-69885154942749610212008-09-22T22:51:00.002-04:002008-09-22T23:13:43.934-04:00First Day BackWell I went back to school today and I would be lying if I said it was easy. There were so many memories of him being there that I did not want to face the day because he wasn't there. I wake up in the morning sad because I want to hear him say Good morning beautiful and kiss me. I am sad when I go to sleep because he is not there to say good night baby. At lunch, I feel lost because he is not going to be there. I use to slip into the bedroom and just watch him sleep with my blanky. He always woke up with a smile and never forgot to ask how the first part of my day was and after school he always remembered to ask how the second part was. He was the kind of guy who did not forget the small things and they mattered to him. He text on my birthday and every month anniversary at 12:00 am to remind me. He made me feel like a million dollars and never asked for anything but love. Church yesterday was hard. Driving out to Whitfield I cried. I cried most of the way through mass and missed his hug during the sign of peace. I miss the way he rubbed my hand and touched my face. We did eat Los Bravos afterwards and truly enjoyed being with Megan, Denise, and his Aunt Donna. I just look at the kids and my heart breaks. God blessed us with the greatest man and he took him in a blink of an eye. Do not get me wrong I know that we are all gifts from above and we never know when we will be taken back home, but I have so much hurt right now I just can't put my mind around it. My heart is broken and it literally aches. The past two days have been horrible and it seems each day it gets harder so I guess I am just asking everyone who reads this to please pray for us that we will receive some type of peace through all of the heartache. Today ended on a good note. I went to Megan's game at Vincennes and they won. She did so awesome. I am proud of her and I know Patrick was just smiling. Especially since I went down with Denise and her three sisters. I wonder why Mike didn't ride down with all of us crazy women. Lol I think Patrick would have went by himself too. I love being around them for a moment I feel like he is with me but than I look over and he isn't. Well I have lost my best friend, the man who I not only loved but was in love with and gained an extended family and little sister. Until I see him again and I know I will, we all just need to hold on to one another and be thankful for what we have!!!! That's all for tonight.<br />Love and God Bless,<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-12712050320196020552008-09-19T18:49:00.002-04:002008-09-19T18:53:43.932-04:00Trey and His BikeToday Trey got the bike that Patrick had promised him. He was so happy and Trey even said he knew Fletch would not forget. It meant so much to him! Thanks to Mrs. Lawson, Ms. Sandra, Mrs. Wagoner, and Ms.Parker at Elementary West. I know that Fletch is smiling down because as we all know he was and forever will be a man of his word...<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-64638259272509903232008-09-15T09:04:00.002-04:002008-09-15T09:08:03.095-04:00We're Missing You...<div style="width:480px; text-align: center;"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://w312.photobucket.com/pbwidget.swf?pbwurl=http://w312.photobucket.com/albums/ll333/lljeffers1/Patrick/6f8e6b4c.pbw" height="360" width="480"><a href="http://photobucket.com/slideshows" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a><a href="http://s312.photobucket.com/albums/ll333/lljeffers1/Patrick/?action=view¤t=6f8e6b4c.pbw" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn_viewallimages.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a></div>Delaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6564655994351437376.post-70272557010077070422008-09-15T03:09:00.005-04:002008-09-18T20:46:08.979-04:00Thanks!!!!I would like to thank everyone for all of their prayers, food, cards, flowers, help, and support during this hard time. Especially Patrick's two angel nurses Alicia and Deidree, his wonderful family, my wonderful family, and all of you who have been a part of our life. Each day is hard, and at times I do not know if I want to get out of bed, but that would be selfish of me to do to our families and four angels. I can't wait to live my life in eternity with him. Until then, we all have to rely on each other to get through. I can not even remember who all to thank, but believe me you are in my prayers and God will reward you for all that you have done. Thanks and God Bless,<br />TaraDelaney's Dreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04053735903302475489noreply@blogger.com2